Where is My Mind
by MoonlightatDusk
Summary: Miles spirals out of control as his drug addiction gets worse. (Not super sure where the story is headed but feel free to check this out!)
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! I've been absent for a while, but watching the new Degrassi:Next Class episodes got me really excited! I'm not super sure of where the story is headed, but we will see!**

* * *

Everything spun, moved in slow-motion, echoed... Miles moved through the crowd of people, arm hooked around his girlfriend's. His head was swimming, the music was blasting around him, as sweating, grinding bodies bumped into him.

A slow, far-away smile spread across his face, _'This is fantastic!'_

He could hear a low mumble near his ear, but couldn't decipher what the girl next to him was saying. He felt a pressure on his bicep.

"Esme, stop," he laughed, his eyes dazing over as the bright lights surrounded him.

This was the greatest feeling in the world. High out of his mind on a cocktail of things his girlfriend gave him earlier, and buzzed on the shots he kept downing.

"Miles!"

The teen slowly turned his head to the side and stared at Esme through half-lidded eyes.

"What?," came out his lazy, slow response

"Do you want to dance?! I've been trying to ask you for the past ten minutes!" Esme yelled through the crowd

 _'Ooh,'_ Miles sighed in relief.

Of course she wasn't here to judge him, to be an overbearing mother! She was here to have fun with him.

"Ye...yea," Miles slurred as he took another drink from someone passing by and downed it.

The brunet smiled wide, his head slowly turning to look around the club, his mouth hanging open at the sight of all the colors.

Esme took Miles's hand and pulled him into the dancing crowd. She turned around, slowly grinding against the brunet. Miles absentmindedly held onto her hips, his head continuing to swim.

One song seemed to flow into another, and time slowly passed by, as Miles looked around the club. His hands let go of Esme's hips, and he stood, frozen, in the middle of the dance floor. A dull ache brought his face back to Esme.

"What's the matter with you?! You're just standing there looking like an idiot!"

"Ahaha... yeaaa..." Miles smiled dumbly at her, "Well, if I wasn't so high!"

"You took the same thing I did, how are you so burnt out?!" Esme sounded mildly-annoyed

"Well," Miles wiggled his eyebrows, pulling out a couple of pills out of his pocket, "also took these..."

"Where'd you get those?" Esme looked bewildered.

"Aha... I got them off the guy at the bar," Miles mumbled, still smiling into the distance.

Esme rolled her eyes, furrowing her brows.

"Hey, I'm gonna go take a piss," Miles gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek before stumbling off.

Esme stood in the middle of the floor, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

 _'Fucking asshole,'_ she thought to herself, rolling her eyes once more.

* * *

 _'Fuck, get your head straight!'_ Miles looked down as his vision blurred and doubled.

His arms stretched limply in front of him to avoid bumping into anyone, but failing. He sloppily pushed past the crowded room, until he finally got to the restroom.

 _'Haha! Now... how do I do this?'_ Miles stared at the urinal, as it too, doubled in front of his eyes.

Chuckling, Miles began to undo his zipper, pausing half way as his hearing focused in on the loud moans echoing through the empty room.

Turning around slowly, Miles saw a blurred picture of a girl on her knees in front of a guy probably in his late twenties.

"Hey, what you staring at, asshole?!" the guy barked

"O-oh sorry," Miles turned around to face the urinal once more.

"Hey, hey! Here ya go. Go on, go on!"

Miles heard the guy's voice behind him, and a shuffling of feet.

After finishing and zipping up, the teen turned around to find himself face to face with an older man.

"Hey, you ain't so bad! Look zoned the fuck out though!" he chuckled, giving Miles a gentle slap on the cheek

"Y- yea, well I am," Miles said quietly, looking past him, at the door.

"Hey kid, what are you on?"

"I-I dunno, I gotta go," the teen mumbled, trying to get past the man.

"Whatever it is, looks like you're having a great time!"

"Ah...thanks man," Miles laughed nervously, slightly straining to leave.

"You got any more of whatever it is?"

"N-no, sorry," Miles could feel beads of sweat falling from his forehead, his mind still fogged up.

"How would you like some more then?"

The voice was dangerously close, echoing in the room.

 _'So close... I can feel his breath on my neck..'_ Miles shut his eyes.

"Hey, hey don't be scared!" the guy laughed, "Look. What do you take?"

"I don't know," the brunet pushed the man slightly to try and get past him.

"Well I have a lot... and it seems you have none."

The teen's eyes widened, as the realization hit him. Esme looked pretty pissed, she probably wouldn't give him anything else for the rest of the week knowing her.

 _'And I still need to go home.. fuck.'_

Fingers snapped in front of his face, "You there? You know, you're really good-looking... I'd love to show you a good time. And in exchange, you can get these," the man pulled a small zip-lock bag out of his purse.

 _'Wow so many.. so many different colors... I don't even know what to do with them!'_

"Nothing bad kid, don't worry. All safe, authentic. No paranoia, no shivers, nothing. Just. Plain. Bliss," the man spoke softly, his voice enticing.

"H-how much?" Miles asked biting his lip

"Just let me show you a good time," the man whispered into Miles's ear, "that's all. And it's all yours."

Miles furrowed his brows, and looked into the other's eyes.

 _'Pretty blue eyes..'_

"Aha... A-alright."

The teen felt the collar of his shirt pulled, as he stumbled into a stall with the man, his eyes on the bag of pills still in the other's hand.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! Please enjoy Chapter 2! Let me know what you think! I know this took a while to get out, but I still hope you all like it :) Thank you in advance for feedback and reviews!**

* * *

Mahogany eyes starred at the ceiling, fingers drumming on the floor.

 _'_ _Ziggy played guitar, jamming good with Wierd and Gilly, and The Spiders from Mars. He played it left hand, but made it too far,Became the special man, Then we were Ziggy's Band._ _'*_

Large headphones encompassed his head, as Miles slowly closed his eyes and let the music rush through him, his hands now acting out the drums, as his head swam in the song.

 _'Making love with his ego, Ziggy sucked up into his mind...'*_

The teen's eyes furrowed.

 _'Last night was so bad...'_ Miles thought to himself, crinkling his face.

As the song faded, Miles pressed pause on his iPod, laying there in silence. His head turned to look at the clock on his night stand.

 _'Already two o clock... I should get up.'_

The teen signed heavily, turning to his side. His eyes focused on his jeans, which hung at his desk chair.

"Come on, get up," Miles grumbled, and pulled himself up with a grunt.

His room was flooding with sunlight, making his eyes squint and his head throb.

A quiet knock sounded outside, "Miles?"

 _'Shit,'_ the brunet scrambled to his feet, throwing his pants from the chair into the closet.

"Yes, Franks?"

The door opened slowly, and Frankie appeared, her eyes full of concern.

"You're up," she sounded surprised.

"Yea?...And?" Miles asked after his sister stayed silent

"You better air out your room. It stinks in here. Mom and Dad are gonna know," Frankie wrinkled her forehead with a frown.

Miles looked at his sister for a minute, before sighing, "Yea, I will. Thanks Frankie."

His sister lingered at the door, looking around the wrecked room. She chewed on her bottom lip nervously.

"Aaanything else?" Miles raised his eyebrow

"I-I guess not," Frankie said quietly.

She looked at Miles one last time, before frowning and leaving the room.

Miles sighed heavily once more before moving back towards his bed and plopping on top of it, his arms stretching out behind his head.

Brown eyes focused on his cellphone which lay, thrown away in the corner of his room.

 _'I wonder if she called...'_

Miles hadn't seem Esme since he left her that night. By the time he got out of the restroom, the club was close to shutting down for the night. Esme hadn't waited up for him.

* * *

 _'It wasn't that bad...definitely could have been worse.'_ Miles thought to himself, his eyes set straight ahead of him as he headed to school. It was Monday...Esme hadn't contacted him in three days. And it was an understatement to say he was on edge.

He tried texting her, tried calling her, tried every way he could to get into contact with her. The drugs weren't the problem. He now had a weeks worth of pills. But Esme...or rather lack of Esme..was what got to him.

 _'She probably doesn't want to speak to me... she doesn't care anymore because I left her at that stupid club. Funny...she's always chasing after me but now...'_

Keeping his eyes at his feet now, Miles speed-walked to the doors, before bumping into her.

He startled, looking up with wide eyes, "Oh, Esme, hey! S-sorry I didn't s-"

The girl stormed past him.

"Esme wait up! What's your deal?" Mile's shouted as she half walked-half ran from him, keeping her head down.

The brunet dashed after her, screaming for her to stop. Suddenly, Esme turned on her heels and glared at Miles.

"What's my _deal_?" she seethed

Miles was taken aback, raising his eyebrows, "Yea? You've been M.I.A all weekend!"

Esme crossed her arms across her chest, "Gee, I wonder why!"

"What did I do?!"

"How about, leaving me at that ratchet club, disappearing for hours, and not even giving me a heads up!"

Esme looked at the ground, rubbing her shoe into the dirt.

Miles looked around him restlessly, "Look, I-", he paused, not knowing what to say.

Esme looked at him expectantly, cocking her eyebrow.

"Point is, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to not come back...Y-You're the one who left me for God's sake" Miles sighed, frustrated with the girl in front of him.

 _'Why is she pinning this on me?!'_

 _"_ Yea, of course! Blame me for not sticking around after the place closed down!"

Miles closed his eyes in defeat , "I'm _sorry._ Can we- can we just move past this? I pulled a dick move, I know. I get that you're mad, and I'm sorry."

Esme squinted at Miles with suspicion, but seeing his big, brown, sorry eyes, her gaze softened.

"You're on parol, Miles Hollingsworth," she punched his arm, before smiling up at him, snaking her arm through his elbow.

"Phew," Miles breathed a semi-fake sigh of relief, smiling back.

"So, what happened to you last night?! Did you get into some crazy fight with some guy in the bathroom?"

Miles swallowed hard, his eyes widening, "U-uh, yea. Total asshole."

Esme looked at him, studying his expression, and her eyes widening as she noticed the large purple patches on his neck.

"Must have been quite a fight," she said coldly, growing stiff.

"Ha.. yea it was. Crazy dude," Miles looked down at their linked arms.

Esme stayed quiet as the couple walked through the school doors. She kept her gaze low, his lips in a thin line.

"Esme..? You alright? How was your weekend?"

"It was fine. I can see yours was great," she spoke curtly.

"..Excuse me?" Miles wasn't sure where she was getting at.

Esme pointedly stared at the hickeys that peppered Mile's pale skin. It took the brunet a few seconds to realize what she meant.

 _'Fuck, I specifically told that asshole not to leave any marks!'_ Miles fumed internally.

"Oh...yea..."

"Was she cute? Big breasts, nice ass, or just a pathetic slut looking for someone similar?"

"W-what?" Miles was taken aback

Esme rolled her eyes, and started walking away from him.

"Esme! It's not what you think! And would you stop running away already!?" Miles sped towards her.

"Scew you, Miles! I thought you actually liked me," Esme said the last part quietly.

"These aren't what you think they are!"

"Oh yea?" the girl spun around, her eyes piercing, "What are they then?"

"Can we go somewhere and talk," Miles spoke in a hushed voice, looking around at the other students.

"I have class," Esme said curtly, avoiding Miles's eyes.

"Well then meet me after," Miles pleaded, taking a hold of his girlfriend's hand gently.

"Fine...But this better be worth my time," Esme's voice sounded stern.

"..Just give me a chance to explain."

"I have to go to class."

Esme slipped her hand out of the brunet's, looked him over, sadness filling her eyes. She turned around, and walked, slowly this time, away.

Miles watched her, his mahogany eyes deep with regret. His hand traveled to his pocket, where he felt the bag. It was smaller, not the one he received that night. It had just enough to get him through the day.

 _'Explaining this to Esme will be difficult. But she could have denied me the pills... I couldn't risk it...'_

Miles snapped out of his thoughts, realizing the bell had long run. He picked up the pace, and headed to his next class.

* * *

 ***Song name in the beginning is Ziggy Stardust by David Bowie**


End file.
